Disappointment

Disappointment is a fact of life and something we all feel at some point in our lives. According to articles in Psychology Today people will avoid disappointment far more than any other emotional experience because it comes with the finality that you will never achieve what you wanted. 

In this episode we explore why we feel disappointed, how we can use it as a tool for growth and resilience, and yes, still set expectations. 

How to Manage Disappointment 

1. Notice the feeling in your body. 
2. Acknowledge your feelings. It’s ok that you feel disappointed. Don’t say to yourself, “oh, -- I should get over this or it’s not a big deal.” Acknowledge that you are having emotions and feelings here. 
3. While you’re exploring your disappointment, do some soul-searching on your ABSOLUTE WHY you’re disappointed. Once you find your ABSOLUTE WHY, you can address the real reason with actions that alleviate the feelings.
4. Don’t stew. Give yourself ample grieving time, but make a deal with yourself to move on from it too. 
5. Know the fact versus fiction here. Do you have a story about this situation or a loop that runs in your mind like, “things never work out for me?”.   
6. Reframe, think about how this can be a place for growth. Didn’t get the job? Relationship not work out? How has this made you stronger? What life lessons did you need to learn from it? 
7. Distance makes the heart forget. While this may seem insurmountable, it is a blip on the screen.  DO stuff.  Be conscious of this and find ways to create happy moments that can override disappointment. 
8. Try to find humor in the situation. 

Don’t let the fear of disappointment dictate your life. Yes, you will be disappointed but use expectations as your guidepost to having the life you want and trust that you have the skill to manage disappointment if it comes your way.

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Articles + Podcasts

Your Expectations Could Be Destroying You (podcast)

Dealing with Disappointment in Life, Psychology Today (article) 

Dealing With Disappointment, HBR (article)

Expectation, Disappointment and Sadness, Psychology Today (article)

Setting New Expectations During COVD-19 (article) 

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