Hey Gen X Lady, sadly we are at the age where we are starting to deal with the loss of loved ones. Maybe it’s a parent, beloved in-law, or even a friend, peer, sibling, spouse or God forbid even a child.
Grief is something we all experience at some point in our lives and everyone handles grief in their own way. There’s no standard book that says this is how YOU’RE going to manage. Yes, there are 7 stages of grief, but those look different for everyone.
One thing to consider, grief isn’t always associated with death. Grief can also be associated with the loss of any kind. You can go through grief when you are faced with a serious illness, you can go through grief if you have a child who has a severe disability, you can go through grief if your parents are extremely ill for a long time
We mourn for what should have been, could have been or used to be.
In this episode, we talk about grief in a very emotional way. We are sharing our own personal stories with grief and hope that talking about what to expect, how to cope and let you know that with time, you will come out on the other side.
It does get better. This sounds like the biggest platitude—but over time, grief does start to ease and you do heal.
Little things may set you off. Yes, the first holiday or birthday will be hard but you may find yourself being set off by something smaller.
People will say stupid things. Many people will say things that are meant to soothe or be helpful and they are not. It’s not intentional. Cut these people and yourself some slack.
Life goes on. What I mean here is after the services you’ll feel like you have about two days grace period and then most people expect you to go on with life. This is one of the hardest parts of grieving. You need to get back into the routine but your heart, mind, and soul are a million miles away and it feels like no one gets that.
You will feel off balance for a long while. One someone in your immediate family passed, the family dynamic has changed. So expect things to feel very off balance for a bit, roles are going to be established in a weird way.
It can come out of nowhere years later. You’ll find yourself wanting to call that person and tell them something… even years later. I find as soon as that wave of emotion hits, it disappears but I’m shocked at the intensity of it years later.
Your ability to deal with life’s bullshit diminishes. It can dramatically impact the amount of tolerance you have for other people’s baloney.
You may become a version of yourself that you don’t recognize. Big losses can really change us in major ways.
Get help.
Therapy, books, talking to a trusted friend, group therapy, grief coaches. There are lots of resources for you whatever your situation. We will put them in the show notes.
Please know you are not alone here. We all go through losing someone we love. If you feel like you are really struggling, please get help. It will really make this difficult period of time easier.
Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time and space you need to go through the process.
Just Gen X—The Resting Mind Facebook Group
Uma Girish Spiritual Mentor + Grief Guide
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