The Truth About Mid-Life Marriage

Hey Gen X Ladies, if you are like us, married by 30, you are in deeply in double-digit anniversaries, which means you’ve got your groove down, your routine in motion and your dance choreographed.  

We strive our entire lives to have a pattern, it’s comfortable and lets you know what to expect most days. Humans crave routines.

If humans crave routine, why do we find ourselves secretly feeling bored and uninspired in our relationships?  When you do the same dance every day, you don’t think about the steps, so you take for granted all the work that goes into getting to the place of beautiful harmony.

This week, we are talking all about our spouses (the good and the ‘meh’) and getting real about how difficult relationships can be and uncovering ways you can rekindle so instead of dancing side by side, you are truly in unison, staring into each other’s eyes and falling back in love.

Want to connect with Jackie + Mimi more personally? Join their Facebook Community, Just Gen X - The Resting Mind where women, like you, are keeping it real. 

Ways to Rekindle Your Mid-Life Marriage 

Recommit: 

• Know your why for recommitting to your relationship (be honest here).
• Clean up your side of the street. What are the things that you need to work on? Do you have trust issues or is there an old resentment that keeps coming up for you? Look at that and do your own self-development work here.
• Don’t play the blame game! Remember you are a grown-up and are responsible for your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Remember that you can’t change anyone, you can only do the work to change yourself. 

Prioritize your relationship:  

• Do one act of kindness per day for your spouse. It can be anything, but every day, you should do one thing that shows you’re putting them first. 
• Set a time to actively connect with one another each day and really listen to one another.
• Put down the devices and choose to engage in a TV show together.  
• Go on in or out date nights, where you just connect, communicate and ask questions of each other. Ask open-ended questions, not the obligatory ‘how was work today’ but instead, “what was one thing you did today at work that made you feel productive.” And strive to make this connection time a no-complaint time. 

Be the Safe Place: 

• When spouses are together, they need to feel like there is a safe place to let their guard down, vent and be real. We hold our stuff together for so long, all day, don’t you want your spouse to feel like home is a safe place to be himself?

Appreciation a Day: 

• Write down one thing you appreciate about your partner every day. It can be something very small and I guarantee you, on the days you can’t find anything, you will see something magical that was right in front of you! 

Resources:
Your free workbook: Rediscovering You: Your guide to rediscovering the fuel that fires you 

Books:
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Get your free copy of our digital magazine, GEN neXt, The Voice of the Modern Gen X Woman. www.moderngenxwoman.com/gennext

GEN NeXt is a collection of insights from incredible organizations, women, and industry experts who have dedicated themselves to the same cause—turning up the volume of women 40+.

We're not just Gen X we're GEN neXt